October 9, 2007 by JessieX
I just returned from an event called Playa del Fuego, or PDF, as the attendees call it. It’s a regional (and much smaller) version of Burning Man. At both Burning Man and PDF, there is a absolutely policy of No Moop. Moop is “Matter out of place,” or trash. Everyone is self-responsible for every piece of trash they create. At PDF there are no community trashcans anywhere. Really. To participate in the event and be part of the culture that allows such events to take place, personal Moop management is key.
One creative example of Moop management is this. On Saturday night, when the party was just rockin’ across the field, a gentleman in an artistically lit, bike-powered cart was moving through the crowd offering Moopless margaritas: chilled margaritas consumed simply by using a hand-controlled pump to get a mouthful of a margarita. I forgot to ask whether he had salt. Though I certainly did enjoy his generosity and his thoughtfulness about Moop. – Jessie
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August 1, 2007 by cheriebeck
This past weekend I was in Charlottesville, VA for my son’s baseball tournament. My son has been playing baseball for 11 years now, so I’ve been to a few baseball games, to say the least. This particular day, we were treated to graciousness from a local umpire that I personally have never experienced.
We have all heard the stories about parents, coaches and umpires and the crassness that often exhibits itself. There were 3 umpires on the field for this game, and the ‘head’ umpire (the one behind the plate) made the effort three different times to engage the visiting team parents, us in this case. With a smile, some humor and genuine interest he appeared before our clan to personally explain when confusion, disagreement and potentially disgruntling activities took place on the field.
Thank you Mr. Umpire (I didn’t get your name) for adding a touch of class to this game and my experience of it. ~Cherie
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July 17, 2007 by cheriebeck
Jessie and I spent a good chunk of time in Oakland Mills over the weekend (but that is another story). Part
of that time were hanging out and doing some work in the back patio space at Fire Rock Grill (sweeeeet). Along come a family traveling the path behind the patio fence and we hear the sound of glass breaking.
Our ears perk up, and out as it as it were.
Jessie jumped up to investigate. One of the little boys dropped a glass bottle and it shattered across the path. In her best communication style (a recent graduate from the Celebrating Men/Satisfying Women workshop) did a fabulous job of engaging with youngster, who was scared and confused as his mother kept walking and Jessie was calling his attention back to the shattered glass. Not making him wrong, Jessie appealed to boy to be a hero next time for the safety of others and do what he could to get the glass cleaned up.
As the boy went running to his mother; our friendly and attentive server, Katie, at Fire Rock wasted no time in getting broom and swiftly swept up the glass.
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Last night, my dad and I, coming back from a class in DC, zipped into the Tastee Diner in Silver Spring, as it was late and we were hungry. It’s a friendly place, I find.
While waiting for a table to be cleaned and set for us, a patron — a rather handsome young (I’m 43 and counting) man — said “hello” to us. Nice.
Near him, and right in my line of sight, was an old woman. She must have been in her late 80s and looked life-worn. And hungry for some engagement.
Some time into our meal, I heard the waiter say to the older woman, “The gentleman over there has taken care of your tab.” And, I knew, without looking, whom he meant. In short order, the younger man and older woman had started a gentle and engaging conversation. He was recently out of the military. She was more well-spoken than her appearance would have led me to believe. (That’s what I get for making assumptions, right?!)
It was just sweet. It warmed me. It made me feel good to, first, be simply acknowledged upon my entrance into a place, and, second, to witness, even if only through my ears, a kind encounter between two strangers.
Yay for gentleman. And yay for gracious ladies — young and old alike — with the manners and grace to receive their gifts. ~ Jessie
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Much of my afternoon yesterday, was spent at Our House’s annual volunteer picnic. As I arrived at the event, I was greeted respectfully, warmly and genuinely by many of the young men there.
Since my first exposure to Our House, a good 10 years back, I’ve been incredibly impressed with their program and the results they achieve in their residential program for at-risk young men.
One of the intangible results of the program is the civility and mannerliness of their residents. How they create a culture of respect and civility is a much longer discussion; the result is observable.
See, many of their residents have been in and out of the justice system for years and raised in some pretty unsupportive and difficult environments. The Our House environment, and code of conduct, brings out the best in these young men. And I experience this is their sincere and respectful interactions.
If the Our House program impresses you, too, and you’re looking for some individual or group opportunities to volunteer, give them a call. For a list of volunteer options and physical items they’d like donated, click here. ~ Jessie
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Check out this (I think) very funny blog post about movie theater etiquette … or the lack thereof. This piece is written by my friend Mike Morucci, with whom I went to OMHS back in the day.
Beware: this post is rated R, for language. 
~ Jessie
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My dad and I went down in DC last week, to take a class called “The Truth about Lying” by Janine Driver. (She — and her info — are fabulous!)
We then went out for a late dinner, and I chose Bus Boys & Poets, as it always has a nice vibe there. As I walked through the restaurant, en route to our table, many a man nodded, respectfully and kindly in our direction.
Such simple things, they are: eye contact and a nod. But this micro gesture from someone makes me feel connected, alive and integrated; rather than isolated and alone.
I say bring back the nod! Especially in the ‘burbs. Awareness of others is a principle in Dr. Forni’s book, Choosing Civility, and a simple nod is a way to put this principle into action. ~ Jessie
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Today was one of those days that the sun was fussing behind the clouds. It was just kind of overcast.
When I was out driving mid-day, I noticed a number of cars with their headlights on and then turned mine on as well. Sometimes, it’s the littlest things that make me feel better. I felt smarter, safer and more respectful by having my lights on while driving on a gray day. And I’m mighty grateful to those who had theirs on before me and lit things up a bit. ~ Jessie
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Spotted on the NY City Subway. (Please click on the link below.)
civility-litter-campaign-on-ny-subway.jpg
Rather than saying “Don’t litter” or “Littering fines are …,” the NY transit folks are delivering a message that’s easy to read (visually), easy to receive (it’s logical) and easy to follow (they demonstrate the personal effect of small actions, such as littering near the subway tracks).
I love it. They are both asking for civil action (no littering) and doing so in a civil manner. The tone is more conversational, person-to-person, rather than authoritarian.
See any other signs of active civility showing up in advertisement and public service announcements? Send them to us by email. ~ Jessie
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